How are you all? As you might have noticed, since you are all very alert people, I haven't written anything on here for the past 2 days, so I feel slightly obliged to give you an explanation.
Well, to be honest, I haven't been up to much during the last days. You might remember complaining about being ill in my last posts. Yes, that! I was really, truly, very, incredibly sick. My activities during those days of torture included long coughing sessions, followed by sneezing marathons (which were almost as lengthy mind you...), and sleep, plenty of it. There was medicine, lots of that.
Anyway, during one of my long (and painful) sleeps, I had one of those dreams that would look perfect as music video from some indie/alternative song. So basically, I was at some strange place I've never seen before, something like a huge public meeting spot, with a 'friend' of mine. All of a sudden, I realised that I was naked. My friend was naked too and somehow we managed to find towels to cover ourselves. I could see a crowd of people pointing at me, obviously because I was in my birthday suit, and I felt awkward about it. My dear 'friend' went to our room - we had a room there it seems lol - and got dressed without telling me and as you can imagine me doing, I got really, really angry at her. I rushed to this room and wore some clothes. I remember them clearly and I re-created them in a Polyvore set for you guys. At least, there's some fashion in this post see!
Anyway, so then comes the weirdest part. I suddenly realise I'm pregnant, and, wait for it, I'm in labour! The people at this meeting place take me to a barn-like place where a bunch of smelly pigs are giving birth and they lay me down next to them as if they couldn't tell me and those pigs apart. Seriously, unpleasant hah! Eventually, this guy starts removing organs from my body and showing them to me asking me 'is this yours? If it's not yours don't take it with you to the next phase! Take what you really need!' Strangely enough, I felt good about giving birth - excluding the stench from the pigs behind me - and I felt liberated. You know, as if I were getting rid of a huge burden.
Then I woke up and I couldn't sleep again. End of dream.
The first thing I did the morning after was to look up what that dream meant. I looked up every single detail on dream interpretation websites. Don't laugh, but I always get really weird dreams when something big is about to happen in my life. It's like my inner voice speaking to me and I trust my dreams. They're like a guideline. Anyway, to sum it up in a few words, this dream meant that I'm about to exit a period of vulnerability (symbolised by nudity) to move on to a period of confidence at being at ease with myself (me dressing up in 'typical me' clothing). The 'friend' who left me there naked and ran for cover represents someone in my life who did run away when everything went wrong! That's no coincidence! I'm 'giving birth' to a new life and I only need to surround myself with things that represent me. Jesus Christ, can you believe that since the end of Summer, all I've been doing is getting rid of things that I feel don't define me anymore? I've been feeling like I had to remove of those things/people/attitudes/vibes because something inside me just kept telling me I had to do it. These whole 2 months, I felt like I was packing for a very long, self-discovering journey. I've re-done my bedroom, redefined my style, changed my music, started doing things I loved doing before and now I get this message in my dream! Finally, this new life will grant me liberation.
As my dearest Miss Welch would say, I finally feel like I've buried my 'horse in the ground'.
I'm so excited to show you my new room. I only have to hang some new curtains and buy a few new cushions and it should be done! YAY!
Oh, and I'll upload a haul for you tomorrow with some purchases I made over the last few weeks!
I haven't felt so happy, so free and so 'ME' in a while. I honestly feel like someone updated 'my software'. Was my body, soul and mind running on the wrong OS during the past years?
-B
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